i don't quite remember what it feels like to not be in constant pain, but i'm telling myself this is all for the greater good. the thing is, i am in love with this gym, the people who run it, and the other members. if i could, i'd go twice a day, every day. the soreness has grown to be a sort of background noise--i'd probably miss it if it weren't there.

in two short months, i have gained a ton of lean muscle. i'm stronger, (a little) more flexible, and can sleep through the night again. it's pretty amazing. my clothes fit better, i did 42 real pushups in a minute the other day, and i can hold plank for 90 seconds. i feel like i've known my chief abuser my whole life, and though she can be pretty evil during workouts (this evening she obvs had the number 100 on her mind, and we had to do 100 reps of every single horrendous exercise you can imagine), she's a pretty fabulous person and i know it's really for the best that she be so evil.

it's going to take me a year, give or take, to get to where i want to be, healthwise. but when i think that it took ten years to get here, a year doesn't seem so long. if anything, the protein thing might be what kills me--i'm just not sure i can eat too many more egg whites.