where i was vs. where i wish i were

i've really been wanting to go to the monterey bay aquarium and visit the jellyfish. if only i could have gone yesterday, instead of working at a party for people so wealthy that i felt disgusting doing the work i did. there is no such thing as moderation in their world, and being essentially a 6-year old child housed in a 28-year old's body, i had a really hard time myself. i ate so much candy i think i am still on a sugar high. blech.

i sometimes think that when i leave restaurants, and begin to work more seriously on writing, i can support myself by doing more of this uberfancy catering for the rich and famous. but it is such soul-sucking work that i think i'd be left with less inspiration to write than i have even now. in many ways, it's doing exactly the opposite of what i want to be doing. yuck. and, even though it's not exactly my goal to be rich and famous myself, when you work for them, even if you make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year (as some cooks i know do), you still work for them. you're not one of them. you're not at the party, you're cleaning up after the party. i'd rather not spend the rest of my life (or the bulk of it) being someone's servant, no matter how much i get paid.

soon, soon, i will go see the jellies. anyone want to come?

yeah, i know i've got issues

takeoff over transamerica, originally uploaded by SF buckaroo.

i don't know if i can manage to write this story discreetly without being too confusing or general, so forgive me if i lose you somewhere along the way....

there is a big secret party happening soon somewhere about a 6-hour flight from here. it is for some really rich people (and i think if you know some of the people i work for from time to time, you'll know that when i say really rich, i mean really rich) and even though i'm not gonna tell you who the people are or what the party is, i will say that if you really want to know, you can easily figure it out with some savvy googling.

i found out that this party would be happening several months ago, and that pretty much every heavy hitter i know is making the trip to work it. in fact, if you are a bay area socialite planning a party next weekend, don't expect any good cooks or servers to be working, because every single cp-related caterer i know is going to be out of town, save one (in fact, things are so desperate that someone asked me if i wanted to cater a christmas dinner for a certain party planner to the rich and famous with a very jewish name. i wondered aloud, "isn't so-and-so jewish?" and then "isn't christmas at the end of december?" if you are wondering, i vehemently turned down that offer--no one's going to be around to help, and i can't/won't do something like that on my own, and one-handed).

anyway, i feel like everyone but me is going to work at this event, and that everyone but me was invited. i've been kind of depressed about it, even though there is no way i could go, with my hand, and my job. and frankly, i'd probably spend a lot of the time feeling belittled by some of the people there. i just wish i'd been asked.

when i told some of my friends who are going how sad i was at not being invited, they said that they weren't even invited, that they asked to go, and that everyone thought i didn't want to go. i kind of knew all along that if i'd told the people in charge i wanted to go, they'd have said yes, but in all truth, i just wanted to be invited so that i could say no.

kermit's new glasses kill me. he got kind of offended when i told him they made him look like sally jesse raphael. i saw him today at cafe rouge when i went over to return some tarragon we'd borrowed. i was in a bit of a hurry, but we talked for a second about the lamb navarin we served saturday--it was really good, i have to say. i swear he was wearing this exact outfit.

i love the slide at codornices park. i don't know why i don't go there more often.

bertolli's wife was there this afternoon as we ate our junk food and drank franzia and wine coolers (uh.) she accused cisco of waxing up the slide and making it too fast for the little kids. ha! ridiculous! we just tried to keep her from seeing our picnic table.

(i just got a random text message from someone i've never met in france or belgium. weird.)

anyway, the sun came out for us, and it was a lovely afternoon. my little buddy will be missed by all (but we're all taking bets on when he'll be back). and the slide makes me want to make a trip out to the diamond street slides in the city. those ones are far superior.