i guess that one of the good things about not being in school is that while the summer for some is coming to an end, for me, it's really just beginning to hit its stride. tomatoes are finally getting to be really good, and i'm starting to make jams, preserves, and to can things for the winter. none of this end-of-summer gloom really applies.

in other news: i am pooped.

i love gummy vitamins.

i made this cake today, along with some excellent chocolate-chip meringues. tony gulisano, the owner of chow, was sitting at the end of the bar, and he kept staring at me every time i took a dessert out to be taken to a table. later, chris told me that he said that the desserts were stunning. that was nice.

tomorrow, i get to eat bette's pancakes. the best in the world.

summer update

if anyone is still reading this, come see me at the berkeley farmer's market on saturday! i had a little powwow with a bunch of farmers at the market today, and i got terra firma, dirty girl, riverdog, and annabelle to give me stuff for my demo. yay!

and tomorrow, there'll be an article on tomatoes in the oakland tribune (and i think also the san jose mercury news and a marin newspaper) that i will be in; also upcoming stuff in sf mag and diablo mag. i'm everywhere with tomatoes and panzanella. inescapable.

and the polls for my favorite tomatoes are in:
1. dirty girl dry farmed early girls
1. bob's unnamed red tomatoes with thin skins
3. terra firma black prince
4. riverdog sweet 100s
5. riverdog cherokee purple
6. full belly sungolds
7. full belly marvel stripes
8. riverdog black prince
9. riverdog hawaiian pineapple


other spectacular summer produce:

AMAZING orange honeydew from terra firma
incredible eggplants from riverdog and bob
tiny little green beans from bob
beautiful coco blanc shellbeans from martin
radiant jimmy nardello's frying peppers from full belly, and corno di toro peppers from terra firma
roots-on super basil from dirty girl
shiny strawberries from dirty girl (best i've ever seen or tasted)
okra from tiptop

get thee to a farmer's market, people!

The Answers to The Samin Quiz

1. In seventh grade, Samin was caught cheating on a test at school. Her teacher told her parents that if she had spent as much time studying as she had making her cheat sheet, she would have gotten an A+. In what subject was the test?

A. Pre-calculus
B. Biology
C. Latin
D. Spanish

C. Latin. In order for me to attend the middle school I did, I had to take Latin. I HATED it, and didn't even try to learn it. So I made an intricate cheat sheet, and was promptly caught. But the guy in front of me was cheating, too! I ended up taking Latin for 4 years, and I grew to love it, and my teacher.

2. Samin has a birthmark on one of her hands, and people often confuse it for a burn. What is the shape of the birthmark?

Bonus: On which hand is the birthmark?

Right hand, right triangle

3. What is the most delicious flavor of ice cream Samin has ever tasted?

A. Mulberry from Chez Panisse
B. Mexican chocolate from Mitchell’s
C. Macapuno from Mitchell’s
D. Fior di latte from San Crispino in Roma

A. Mulberry. Though as we all know, I LOVE ice cream pretty much more than anything. Even I had a tough time deciding which was my very favorite flavor, but I think mulberry wins because I associate it with so much happiness--we had mulberry ice cream sandwiches at a CP party at Bob's one year, and the year before that we had teeny tiny mulberry ice cream cones at the 30th b-day party (one of the best days I'll ever see), and before I left for Italy, the pastry chef made me a mulberry ice cream bombe. You can't really top that.

4. Samin now laughs about having burned a crucial element of a meal prepared for which celebrity guest at Chez Panisse?

A. Former President Bill Clinton
B. Paul Newman
C. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright
D. Senator Hillary Clinton
E. Sean Connery

D. Senator Hillary Clinton. Jeez--it was pretty much the worst week of my CP career. I was burning and ruining things left and right. We were making a BBQ dinner for Hilsy in the GGP, and I scorched the sauce. It was awful.

5. In her sophomore year of college, Samin described a friend of hers who liked to spontaneously burst out into song as having “Musical Tourette’s.” This phrase is now widely used in her circle, but who was the original diseased friend?

A. Chad Smith
B. Phil Dwelle
C. Melissa Canales
D. Thirza Young

B. Philip Dwelle. A friend from high school was visiting for a couple of days in January, and I think she spent a car ride with Philippe. The next day, she commented on his tendency to break into song at the most random moments. I said, "Yeah, well, he just has musical Tourette's." And it stuck.

6. Who is Samin’s favorite staff writer at the New Yorker?

A. Calvin Trillin
B. Malcolm Gladwell
C. Marc Singer
D. Tad Friend

B. Malcolm Gladwell. Though I adore Calvin Trillin, Malcom Gladwell writes in a way I've never seen anywhere else. He also always seems to have the best subjects for his expository pieces.

7. In trying to figure out what the eff she is going to do with herself, Samin has considered many graduate school paths. In which program has she NOT been interested?

A. M.A. in Journalism
B. Ph.D. in English
C. MFA in Creative Writing
D. M.A. in Education

D. M.A. in Education. First, it was the Columbia School of Journalism, then it became Yale for a Ph.D., and finally the Iowa Writer's Workshop. Now, who knows?

8. What color is Samin’s Kitchen-Aid mixer?

A. Copper
B. Stainless steel
C. Orange
D. Pistachio

D. Pistachio

9. What does Samin almost always say food needs more of?

A. Salt
B. Fat
C. Spices
D. Love

A. Salt. If you have EVER had a meal with me, you know.

10. Samin is convinced she could live with a very sparse kitchen, consisting of only three items. What item could she live without?

A. Cast-iron pan
B. Sharp, heavy knife
C. Mortar and pestle
D. Spanish cazuela

D. Spanish cazuela. Though I love cazuelas and have even toted several across the world on my back to have in my kitchen, I'd have to say that my top three items are the others.

11. Which does Samin love more—olive oil or butter?

I know I'm going to get a lot of backlash for this, but the answer is butter.

12. In her sophomore year of college, Samin taught a De-Cal course. What was its subject?

"Journal Your Ass Off" was the official name, though we spent an awful lot of time talking about cheese as I recall.

Bonus: Where did the class take a “field trip” to in April?

Ben and Jerry's on Oxford St., for free cone day.

13. What is Samin’s favorite local farm?

A. Frog Hollow Farm (Farmer Al—peaches and other stone fruit)
B. Fresh Run Farm (Peter Martinelli—shellbeans, greens, strawberries)
C. Cannard Farm (Bob—pretty much everything)
D. Star Route Farm (Warren and Annabelle—greens)

C. Cannard Farm. Though picking from amongst the farms must be like picking a favorite child, I heart Bob, and the way he looks at farming.

14. When did Samin get her first cell phone?

A. Summer of 2002 in Berkeley
B. Fall of 2002 in Italy
C. Fall of 2003 in Italy
D. Summer of 2004 in Berkeley

A. Summer of 2002 in Berkeley. I was well behind the trend at any rate, but when I moved out of my apartment and bounced from house to house that summer before leaving for Italy, my family felt it necessary to be able to reach me, so they all chipped in and got me a phone (the only decent cell phone I've ever had--I am about to throw mine out the window!).

15. Which city has Samin NOT visited?

A. Houston, TX
B. Venice, Italy
C. Washington, D.C.
D. Lahore, Pakistan

B. Venice, Italy. I went to Houston as a child for a wedding, to Washington D.C. three years ago for a wedding, and to Lahore two years ago for another wedding. But I still haven't been to Venice.

The Samin Quiz

Here it is: the first Samin quiz ever! Leave your answers in the comments. The winner will get an excellent, but as of yet undetermined, prize.


The Samin Quiz

1. In seventh grade, Samin was caught cheating on a test at school. Her teacher told her parents that if she had spent as much time studying as she had making her cheat sheet, she would have gotten an A+. In what subject was the test?

A. Pre-calculus
B. Biology
C. Latin
D. Spanish

2. Samin has a birthmark on one of her hands, and people often confuse it for a burn. What is the shape of the birthmark?

Bonus: On which hand is the birthmark?

3. What is the most delicious flavor of ice cream Samin has ever tasted?

A. Mulberry from Chez Panisse
B. Mexican chocolate from Mitchell’s
C. Macapuno from Mitchell’s
D. Fior di latte from San Crispino in Roma

4. Samin now laughs about having burned a crucial element of a meal prepared for which celebrity guest at Chez Panisse?

A. Former President Bill Clinton
B. Paul Newman
C. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright
D. Senator Hillary Clinton
E. Sean Connery

5. In her sophomore year of college, Samin described a friend of hers who liked to spontaneously burst out into song as having “Musical Tourette’s.” This phrase is now widely used in her circle, but who was the original diseased friend?

A. Chad Smith
B. Phil Dwelle
C. Melissa Canales
D. Thirza Young

6. Who is Samin’s favorite staff writer at the New Yorker?

A. Calvin Trillin
B. Malcolm Gladwell
C. Marc Singer
D. Tad Friend

7. In trying to figure out what the eff she is going to do with herself, Samin has considered many graduate school paths. In which program has she NOT been interested?

A. M.A. in Journalism
B. Ph.D. in English
C. MFA in Creative Writing
D. M.A. in Education

8. What color is Samin’s Kitchen-Aid mixer?

A. Copper
B. Stainless steel
C. Orange
D. Pistachio

9. What does Samin almost always say food needs more of?

A. Salt
B. Fat
C. Spices
D. Love

10. Samin is convinced she could live with a very sparse kitchen, consisting of only three items. What item could she live without?

A. Cast-iron pan
B. Sharp, heavy knife
C. Mortar and pestle
D. Spanish cazuela

11. Which does Samin love more—olive oil or butter?

12. In her sophomore year of college, Samin taught a De-Cal course. What was its subject?

Bonus: Where did the class take a “field trip” to in April?

13. What is Samin’s favorite local farm?

A. Frog Hollow Farm (Farmer Al—peaches and other stone fruit)
B. Fresh Run Farm (Peter Martinelli—shellbeans, greens, strawberries)
C. Cannard Farm (Bob—pretty much everything)
D. Star Route Farm (Warren and Annabelle—greens)

14. When did Samin get her first cell phone?

A. Summer of 2002 in Berkeley
B. Fall of 2002 in Italy
C. Fall of 2003 in Italy
D. Summer of 2004 in Berkeley

15. Which city has Samin NOT visited?

A. Houston, TX
B. Venice, Italy
C. Washington, D.C.
D. Lahore, Pakistan
ah yes, my dear old blog.

i suppose that if the only contact you had with me were my blog, it might have appeared that i'd fallen off the face of the earth. though at times i've wished that were the case, it simply isn't true.

let's see--where to begin? well, back in late october, my friend C told me of his plans to apply to grad school. though all he wanted was a master's degree, he planned to cheat the system and apply for a phd so that he wouldn't have to fund his own studies, then drop out after they handed him the master's. i was furious over the blatant lack of ethics of the whole thing, and decided to show him who's boss by applying for a phd of my own. there's no better reason than jealousy/anger/self-righteousness for heading into higher education, now is there?

so i signed up for my general and subject gre tests, and went to see my professors for recommendations. i was shocked at their collective lack of enthusiasm for my brilliant (and extremely well-motivated) plan to become a professor, and couldn't believe how little faith in me they had when i told them that i only wanted to apply to harvard, yale, berkeley, and columbia. pshaw.

i tried to put their attitudes out of my mind while i studied for the gre. i was terrified--i haven't studied for anything in five years, and to say that i studied for much in college would be quite an overstatement, so the idea that this evil computer-based standardized test could quantify my intelligence really freaked me out. i think i studied harder for this test than i have ever done for anything, and in the end, my scores were miraculous. i even got a perfect score on the writing. so there, faithless professors.

talking to a couple of friends in phd programs started to scare me, though. they asked what i wanted to study, and who i wanted to study with, and why i wanted to get a phd. i couldn't really tell them that the reason was because i felt competitive with a friend, so i blathered on incoherently about my love of non-fiction and bladidy blah blah blah. well, thank goodness for my heartless friends who set me straight, saying that i didn't really sound like i knew what i was talking about and that i didn't seem to have any solid reasons for wanting a phd. thanks to them, i began to doubt the decision. i went straight to the bookstore and found a book called "so you want a phd?" or something like that, and read the first chapter, which basically said, "don't even think about getting a phd if you are this, this and this." there was a list of about 50 thises, and i was ALL of them. some of the statistics in the book really freaked me out, too, like how 50% of liberal arts phd students drop out before they get their degrees. even after the orals, you're not safe--20% drop out after that. yikes!

then came the problem of not being able to find a decent writing sample. all of my long papers from school were from when i was in england, and i couldn't find any of them anywhere. this was really starting to stress me out.

so i thought back to my original idea of graduate school, and how i wanted to get an mfa way back when. i couldn't really bring myself to seriously entertain the idea of an mfa again, since it is such an expensive degree, and doesn't really qualify a person to make loads of money the way, say, a law or medical degree might. i'd be in debt forever, and a certified poet. woo-hoo.

i went back and talked to my professors, and they said that it wasn't that they thought i couldn't do it, or wasn't smart enough. academia isn't the beautiful idealist universe it used to be--there is a lot of cutthroat competition, and they didn't know if my love of poetry and literature would be enough to get me through it all. you have to want this kind of thing more than anything, and be ready to make some huge commitments and sacrifices for it. it's a race from the start, where you have to fight to get into a great school, then fight for funding and to work with who you want to work with, then fight for fellowships and crappy jobs at middle of nowhere schools in cold places, and all of the rest. i realized that i have never really committed to anything for more than a couple of years, and i didn't want to put myself through the pain of having to drop out.

my professors also told me that there are some great fully-funded mfa programs out there, and they helped me get my applications in for 6 of them. everything seemed to be fine.

and then i got universally rejected. it never occured to me that this would happen, since the last time i applied to grad school i had a 100% acceptance rate. but it turns out that these mfa programs are super-competitive, with a 2-4% acceptance rate. up to a thousand people apply sometimes for 4 or 5 spots. jeez.

so i guess i am going to have to figure out what i am going to do now. i might re-apply, and if i do, i am going to change some major things about my applications. i really don't know what i am going to do. i may travel. i might just dig a hole and hide in it. who knows?

****************

this week i went to the soft opening of terzo in cow hollow. the food was great--i think the place is going to be a total neighborhoody hit. it's really cute, with all of lori's little touches all over the place. the halibut with romesco was awesome!!! i heart romesco. and i LOVE the light bulbs (just like ours).

i got a new pair of clark's wallabees, which i adore. they are so comfortable--it's like walking on pillows.

lately i have been listening to a lot of new and old music by: the weepies, the ditty bops, snow patrol, stevie wonder, and bill withers.

calvin trillin's piece in the new yorker last week about his late wife alice was one of the most beautiful things i have read in a long time. i think he is a brilliant writer.

the new epicurious garden on shattuck makes me want to throw up, and i can't imagine that alice is very pleased with it, especially since the pukey fake zen garden in the back looks over the patio and locker room of cp. YUCK! welcome to berkeley, walnut creek.

last week as i was driving to bob's, i was thinking it might be nice to write a long essay about bob and try to submit it to some places like saveur or the nyt magazine or something. when i got there, charlene asked me if i knew who dan barber was. it took me a second, but then i remembered he is the guy who runs the blue hill at stone barns (and of course he his inextricably linked to cp and clee and all the rest) and he's been writing some blurbs for the nyt magazine. he's trying to get bob to let him write about him for them, now. so out the window with that bright idea.

i LOVE american idol. my two favorites are katherine mcphee and taylor hicks. get rid of that bald rocky guy! not to mention bucky!

i've been watching six feet under, and i am waiting for the last episode to come from netflix next week. oh, it is such a great show. i wonder what i'll watch next....

also, can i just say that the last episode of lost was one of the most amazing hours of television, ever? oh, how I LOVED IT!

what else? well, i briefly entertained the idea of going to barcelona this week to visit P and K, but i just couldn't get it all to come together, with work and everything. perhaps in the next month or so. i really need to get out of this country for a bit.

my encounter with willy wonka

about a week or so ago (maybe a little more), i was working in the kitchen when a server (who is incidentally the nephew of one of my favorite professors) came to ask us what kind of chocolate we use for our cake. we used to use all scharffen berger, because it's good, and because it's local--you can't get much more local than just down the street--and because CL knows john and robert from the old days or whatever.

but the scharffen berger chocolate is effing expensive, and some of us like other chocolates so much better--i love valrhona and el rey, not to mention some really fabulous italian chocolates like amadei. heck, even CP uses callebaut. so, when we found out that scharffen berger SOLD OUT to hershey's, we decided to switch. i mean, if you are going to buy chocolate from a humongous corporation, it may as well be something that you really like, and that doesn't burn a hole in your pocket, right? suddenly, ol' SB didn't seem so local.

well, the server was waiting on robert steinberg and a guest, and said that they wanted to come talk to us in the kitchen. i couldn't control my mouth (surprise!) and told him to send them on in, and that i would answer any questions that they may have had.

well, they marched right on in, and i said hello, and they asked us why we were using valrhona, and i said that we used to buy their stuff, but when they sold to hershey's, we decided to switch to something more affordable, since localness wasn't really a part of the equation anymore.

i felt an argument coming on, and my heart started to race. lori and others who didn't want to see any bombs going off seemed to find things to do in other parts of the kitchen.

mr. steinberg and his employee tried to give me a guilt trip for buying venezuelan and belgian chocolate when i could be buying berkeley chocolate. ex-key-use me, but where the heck do you think your cacao comes from, buddy? ashby and san pablo? i don't think so! you told me yourself that you go down to venezuela to buy the beans. it's ALL venezuelan chocolate.

i told him about the first time i went down to the sb factory six years ago, after the woman who used to run it invited me down there. she gave me a tour, and her spiel about how SB is the smallest chocolate maker in the country, and the next largest chocolate company, hershey's, makes as much chocolate in one day as they make in one year. and now, after all of that anti-corporation bullshit that they spewed out at every single person who ever took a tour there for years, the went and SOLD OUT to the very company they were badmouthing on a daily basis.

i said, how do you think that makes us feel?

he said, but we are still the same company. we still do everything the same inside.

i asked him why he did it, why he sold the company, and he gave me this emotional account of how a person can never really know from the outside what is happening inside of a business, and though things might look one way from outside, they might be totally different on the inside. he said that frankly, he didn't know if the company would be able to survive if he hadn't sold.

i said, i can respect that. i am not judging you for your decision, and you can't judge us for ours. we too, have a struggling business here, and we have to make choices that are the best for us all-around. yes, there was some personal preference involved with the decision to switch chocolates, and the people who made those choices are leaving the restaurant soon. so i'd be happy to sample your chocolate again and reconsider using it. but please don't come here and attack us or insinuate that we do not support local purveyors, because our farmers, ranchers, bee-keepers, chicken growers, and everyone else we buy from are our family.

thank you.

so we shook hands, and they left, and i turned around and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest.

CL is convinced that they are going to go around town badmouthing us now.
my dear friend's brother committed suicide last week. it's been an incredibly intense time for everyone, and i can't even begin to imagine what it's been like for him and his family. i didn't even know his brother, and i've cried almost every night since i found out. this is the saddest time i've ever known.

there's an article in the chronicle about him today. i'm crying again, now.
i remember when a friend gave me a battered galley copy of a million little pieces in 2002. i was visiting new york and needed a book for my plane ride back. i'd heard people at chez panisse talking about it before that, and it sounded gruesome, like something i'd never want to read.

i loved it.

i didn't put it down once during the whole plane trip.

it was beautiful, moving, and completely free of the bullshit that makes so many books painful for me to read. there was no pretense, no fake "i am a writer speaking to my audience" crap that can alienate a reader so easily.

i loved it.

now, the book is an oprah book. i see people reading it everywhere. the hand covered in sprinkles is hard to miss. and the smoking gun is saying that he lied. i don't believe he lied. perhaps he exaggerated, or changed some details. but the spirit of the story is true, whether it is real or not. good for you, james frey, standing up for yourself. i think that's great.
a terrible tragedy has struck the family of one my my friends. i am so sorry, dear s, for your pain and sadness. you are like a brother to me, and i love you no less than i love my own family. please don't burrow yourself from me and the rest of us who care so deeply for you. we are here for you, now and always.
i had a wonderful day today with philippe, back from spain for a break. we went to bob's in sonoma, and it was beautiful up there. last week, i had that awful flu, and it was flooding, so even though jeff, amber, gretchen and ted met me up there, it was miserable. i came home shivering and sopping wet, and had to beg for a ride home. then, i spent new year's eve day making four hundred and twenty tortellini.

anyway, it was sunny and lovely, today, and i was so happy just to have phil there with me. we walked up the hill, so much farther than i have ever gone. and bob and charlene gave me a beautiful bag of chanterelles they collected. they were the most amazing, meaty, bright chanterelles i have ever seen. lovely.
--i saw pride and prejudice this weekend, and i thought it was beautiful, and true to the book. all of the actors (even keira knightley and her pouty pout) were great.

--my mom's aunt brought me the two most beautiful silk coats from northern iran. i love love love love them. i want to wear them all of the time. they remind me of my cousin's clothes, but not as well tailored.

--i just bought the new billy collins and ted kooser books of poetry. they are both so great. i didn't know if they'd be able to find someone who could follow billy collins' act as poet laureate, but they did. i also got tickets to see billy collins in february at city arts and lectures (and shirin ebadi in may).