bricks and blossoms at soul food farm.  march 2009.

let's see: have we all seen melissa's blog?  she's still completely ridiculous, but also totally entertaining and informative on the topic of her home garden.  melissa, my oldest friend, started gardening in pots on her patio in venice beach several years ago.  the pots have traveled with her to san diego, and the gardening is getting out of control.  it's pretty great to see how much she is doing with how little--i've seen the garden in its most recent state, and it doesn't really reach much farther than her front porch and back porch.  yet the blog posts keep on coming.  

also, check out good evening thursday at bruno's in the mission, brought to you by sam & co. of open.  a once a week pop-up restaurant in the back of a dive bar--sorta like mission street food, but a little less sketchy and slightly more consistent.

in our own kitchen, canning season is about to get underway: brandied cherries, apricots and apricot jam, and even some early b&b pickles will hopefully be happening soon.  can't wait to get back into my element.

farm updates: first basil from martin, cukes from catalan, tulare cherries from twin girls and fantastic chandler strawberries from terra firma.

i secretly love how having a bacterial infection in my GI tract has allowed me to be very lazy and eat a lot.

but i am also looking forward to the morning (hopefully tomorrow) when i awake and am ready to go work out.

i wonder what it would feel like to have a real vacation?  i hope to find out this fall, when i plan to go to hawaii to do a triathlon with my friend alice and then hike the napali coast.  woot, woot!
does anyone know anything about flip cameras?  i'm interested in using one for something like this:




this is my friend liz from high school, who is sort of brilliant and incredibly creative.  she and her sister started doing these videos, and i LURVE them.  



:: in other news, check out deconstructing dinner, a crazy-intense canadian radio show/podcast about intellectual food issues.  (via aaron)

:: also, veller's book is about to come out!  if you live in berkeley, come with us to cheer her on and heckle her and MP at berkeley arts & letters on june 18th!  

:: cherries and apricots are starting.  squash blossoms are in full swing.  it was 90 degrees this weekend.  summer is almost here.  if i could only find ten minutes to get the paul robeson tomato starts into the ground...




if i had a kajillion dollars, i'd buy an apartment for myself in nyc and stay there for a week once every month or two, eating my way around the city.  

most delicious nyc bits:
--apple and kimchee salad at momofuku ssam bar
--gelato from il lab
--seeing (one of my two favorite cousins) misha in the west village
--my afternoon at the new york times with kim, julia and jill (love those ladies!)
--the whole wheat seedy bread at balthazar 
--running into my middle-school friend debby k. on second ave.
--reading the weds food section in a nyc coffeeshop instead of on my laptop in berk.
--brooklyn flea (meeting the saipua guys)
--our brunch at egbert's apt (maybe the most amazing nyc apt ever) and kris's bloody marys...
--so much great weather
--getting caught in an east coast thunderstorm whilst trekking up 5th ave
--my customary pilgrimage to kitchen arts and letters (where i scored 2 river cottage books)
--dinner with jonas and phil...ha!
--sneaking onto the 29th floor with jonas
--dragging jonas all over the village, soho and les in the glaring sun
--seeing sarah from heritage for dinner at alias
--spicy hummus, barbari and sour green plums from sahadi's
--talking to philip
--the amazing pink and purple spring moment we had in brooklyn heights
--the letter press drawers we found in the antique store on court street (already hung and being filled!)



east village street art, april 2009


this is only my third time in new york, and though i'm not here for the nicest of reasons, i'm trying to make the best of it.  i've been walking everywhere (except yesterday when i went up to 93rd street to kitchen arts and letters, where i did my best to talk up veller's book), and eating so many wonderful things.  it's sort of overwhelming when you first get here, how much there is to soak in.  i'm perpetually amazed by how little space people make do with here.  it's incredible, actually.  i wonder, could i do it?  but already, after a few days, the idea of moving here (which must cross every visitor's mind) has all but disappeared from my thoughts.  

straight off the plane, we rushed to momofuku and got there right before it closed at midnight.  it was pretty delicious, and i decided i'd have to return before i leave.  we shared ramen, kimchee stew, the famous buns (shamelessly copied almost exactly by heaven's dog) and some crazy noodles with really spicy sausage and candied cashews.  they gave us some pb and stout soft serve with crushed pretzels and bar nuts for dessert.  

walking home at 1am was pretty amazing--so many people in the streets, so many businesses open (veselka is 24 hours!).  plus, jonas lives pretty much in the center of it all on w.13th street.   i feel so lucky to be staying here!  

i've also had the pleasure of eating at:
balthazar for breakfast--the best part was the incredible whole wheat bread
sara jenkins's porchetta for lunch--a great porchetta, comparable to CL's or dario's
il laboratorio del gelato and grom.  laboratorio was maybe the best gelato i've had outside of italy.  really great texture.  did i mention it's been over 80 degrees the entire time i've been here?
i returned to momofuku for another great lunch, and then went around the corner to the bakery, where i ran into david chang.  so awesome!  the bakery pretty much rules my universe, with soft serve, flavored milks, and amazing pies, cakes and cookies. 
i also stopped by kalustyan's to get some exotic peppers: urfa, marash, aleppo and kirmizi.  
pearl oyster bar where we got to sit at bria's bar.  that was pretty wonderful.

new day today.  i get to go to the nyt to meet with some peeps.  and hopefully, we'll have lunch at shake shack.  we're supposed to meet april for late dinner and i hope we get to see her.  we had fish last night, so i sort of want to go the the spotted pig.  i'll let you know what happens next....



day old lamb at meridian jacobs farm, march 2009

oh lordy has it been hot here!  i am sunburnt like nobody's business, but it's been really nice to be outside, and to spend more time on my bike and less in my car.  

i had sort of given up on my goal of riding my bike six days a week by the end of the year after i sprained my ankle (i'm still having some trouble with it).  but i've found that if i just sneak in a ride here and there, it adds up.  have i told you how much i lurve my bike?  and manifesto, where i got it?


there are lots of thoughts on my mind these days, but many of them are unfortunately career and reputation crippling.  they involve thinking about certain people who are jealous, disingenuous, deceptive and altogether awful.  i excel at writing mean letters which express my inner unrest, but any letters i may write about what is going on right now will, sadly, never be read by those they are meant for.  

it is a hard time for us all.  luckily, we have each other.  
my dad, ever the entrepreneur, had a brilliant idea:

if i want to be a famous writer, all i have to do is go to iran, get caught doing something illegal or legal but frowned upon, go to jail (think of all of the money i could save on rent and food!), get put on trial, somehow make it out of there, come back to the states, sell my story to the highest bidding publisher, go on oprah, meet barack obama and be awarded a purple heart (or whatever medal they give brave, yet stupid civilians) and watch my amazon.com rank rise.  

duh.

why didn't i think of that?
there is some really interesting arguing going on about confinement pork right now.  

james mcwilliams, a really intelligent (vegetarian) history professor at texas state university wrote this op-ed which appeared in the nyt last week: free-range trichinosis

predictably (but nonetheless brilliantly) marion nestle presents us with this insightful response:

i wrote an email to mr. mcwilliams today saying that, though i don't really buy his argument (the numbers didn't add up for me even before i read marion's reply), i do appreciate people looking at the food system's problems from different angles.  it's the only way we'll ever fix anything.  

it's good to get out of berkeley, and my recent trip to seattle reminded me that:

1) everyone doesn't and can't think about and prioritize food the way i do.  heck, if i didn't do the work i do, i couldn't afford to eat the way i eat.  i'd still eat organically and healthily, but i'd eat a lot less meat and a lot more beans.  

and 2) there are people outside of the cp/bay area circles who are just as passionate about eating locally, seasonally, organically and in an environmentally friendly way.  i was really impressed with what i saw and felt going on around food in seattle.  in fact, i felt that in many ways, the movement to eat sustainably was actually more genuine and far less buzzwordy up there than it is here.  that being said, we went to two farmer's markets in two days, and i can count the vegetables i saw at both on one hand.  if such a green, forward thinking city has so little to offer at the farmer's market at the cusp of spring, then what are people in the much less liberal (and much more cold) midwest and north supposed to do?  do we really expect them to eat rutabaga and kohlrabi until july?  we need to start looking at things more open-mindedly, i think, if we really expect everyone to get on board.  

UPDATE: here is a post by ed levine on the topic

though jen might think that the best part of my weekend in seattle was randomly meeting heath putnam (who i'd coincidentally called and spoken to on thursday from berkeley) at the u-district farmer's market, it was actually realizing what a freak her husband gary is.

just kidding.

it was when jen squeezed the tube of fancy italian lotion onto her palms in the extremely snooty store in fremont before realizing it was actually toothpaste. (i won't neglect to mention that as we were cracking up and trying to ask for a tissue, i tripped and nearly knocked over a really fancy jewelry display. it was then that we thought it might be best to leave.)

but honestly, how could i choose just one moment? we got lost a bunch of times--despite having more gps units than people in our midst--and then found theo chocolate, really excellent bookstores, utilikilts, george washington's butt (you'll have to ask gary about that), a bride conference, and pocketfuls of seaglass.

there are pretty much no words to describe how much fun we had.  so excellent!!  thank you, jen, gary, devil-dog and anna.  (p.s. i will post this now because if i wait to get pics up, it'll never happen.  i'll update when i upload.)

soul food farm


i haven't been this tired in a long time--this string of emotionally exhausting fourteen hour days might be my longest yet. but tomorrow is our mangalitsa and martin dinner. martin bournhonesque is one of my favorite farmers, and at the same time, one of the most infuriating. i love him, but at the same time regularly plan to strangle him. if he's late one more time, or forgets my citrus again, i tell myself, i swear i will never order from him again.

but then he shows up with the most perfect wild arugula i've ever seen (or tasted). and all is forgiven.

not to ignore the mangalitsas, which might be the most delicious pork i've ever tasted.

i have to go to sleep now. but i'll try to post the menu tomorrow so we can all pretend to eat dinner together.
because it's hard to be happy when someone you love is heartbroken

because there aren't words enough to express the sympathy that you feel

because you want to say, i know that your time will come

this was not meant to be, and one day

you will understand why.

because of all of this, just these words tonight and nothing more.
i am human: alongside my joys and successes are disappointments and challenges. i terribly abuse most punctuation marks, especially the comma, whose overuse i picked up from a friend years ago (we no longer speak, but i cannot let go of this habit for the life of me).

i don't call my parents often enough, it's been weeks since i vacuumed, and i haven't handwritten a thank-you note for almost two years. yep. i'm still figuring all of that out.

i've been bumbling through life for a long time now, knowing that i won't be in kitchens for the rest of my life, but not knowing much more. i have wanted to write since long before i was a cook. i've talked about it for so long. and now, i feel like i am finally doing something about it. from the people who have supported me (CL), encouraged me and told me to suck it up (AH) to the people i've learned from (MP) and bothered endlessly for advice (BAP, KS and NC), well, i couldn't have taken even these baby steps without them.

i started last year hoping for a fulbright to make up for the one i so nearly missed out on six years ago. i didn't get it, and instead turned my energy toward writing. amidst 60 hour workweeks, a crazy gym schedule, and just general lunacy, i managed to get published in meatpaper and esf. this year, i made it my goal to get published in one major publication, and today, that goal has been accomplished. i feel so empowered--each little step gives me so much more confidence to ask for something bigger.

one little thing leads to another little thing, and one day you look back and wonder, how did this happen? i am so lucky, and so grateful, for all of the wonderful people who surround me. i look around me and i see writers, farmers, filmmakers, and amazing, generous cooks. i see musicians, bakers, amazing athletes, parents of gorgeous, intelligent children. there are craftspeople, photographers, winemakers, architects, gardeners, and academics. how did i end up in such a cradle of beauty?

this blog is a silly place, a journal i started when i lived in italy to keep in touch with my friends. i don't know what it's become, exactly, or how it will change. but i will always be human. i will always be me. and i invite you to come along with me on this journey, as part of this dazzling, silky web of doers i am so proud to be a part of.
i've somehow miraculously made it to my one year birthday at my gym, a place called one of the best gyms in the country by the wkc.

i love this place, and it has changed my life. in one year, i have lost nearly thirty pounds, made yoga an integral part of my life, started down the path toward becoming a cyclist (i even have two pairs of bike shorts). i can hold plank pose for nearly three minutes, do 45 situps in a minute, and deadlift my body weight (probably more by now). i can row 2k in under 8 minutes, and hold a wall squat for almost 4. it's all pretty coocoo if you ask me. i'm not sure how you quantify these things, but i might be in the best shape of my life. if not, then i'm close. and only improving (despite having a body ravaged with injured joints).

i am sort of in lurve with both my physical therapist and my personal trainer (two people i'd never imagined i'd regularly patronize). i am no longer depressed, i can sleep, and i feel so much more confident about most things in my life. i even think that one day, my natural posture will be to stand up straight. i have seen how i can make my body change through diligence and hard work, and am realizing my limits. i am learning when to push--and when to forgive--myself.

i love them, and i love the me that they have helped me to find. i hope to grow grow grow and get even faster stronger better with them as far as the eye can see. (and when my shoulder has healed, i am going to be able to do that pullup!)