Pig Roast Teasers from peden+munk

it's somewhat unbelievable, and it's gonna take me a while to come back to life, but the 40th is finally over.

it was really, really hard.  and really, really beautiful.

the fantastic peden+munk were with us for two days, capturing the magic.  here are some of their teaser photos.  i can't wait to get my hands on more so i can share them with you!







Tartine Afterhours: Wednesday, August 17th


the details

who: the fab folks at tartine and me
what: a three-course family-style summer feast
where: tartine bakery (600 guerrero st. sf, ca)
when: wednesday, august 17th at 8pm
why: to highlight the joy of good food and good company
to reserve: this dinner has sold out.  please join the mailing list by entering your name in the box on the sidebar to receive notice of our next dinner and enter the lottery.
how much: $45 plus wine and gratuity (cash only, please!)

I'm looking for an intern!


photo by aya brackett


Job Description

Samin Nosrat is offering a three month long internship to a student or recent graduate wishing to gain one-on-one hands-on experience in the wonderful, unpredictable world of good food entrepreneurship.

This is an unpaid opportunity to be fully immersed in Samin’s many projects, including Pop-Up General Store, Tartine Afterhours, Home Ec Cooking Classes, and everything else she does! The intern will work very closely with Samin on correspondence, scheduling and social media. There will also be interaction with Samin’s many wonderful collaborators, including folks at Chez Panisse, Pizzaiolo, Tartine Bakery, OPEN restaurant, various local farmers and journalists, and, well, you get the point—lots of good people. Opportunities to work in the kitchen alongside Samin are also a possibility.

(Ok, I’m sick of writing in the third person.)

The internship takes place with me. Wherever I go, you go. I live in North Berkeley and do about half of my work from home. For events, classes, and special projects I hit the road, and I’d take you along with me. I’ll provide delicious meals and plenty of unexpected perks as well as opportunities for paid work. You’ll be expected to work roughly from 9am – 1pm two days a week, as well as helping out on site at events 3-4 times a month.

Though it may look like my work is predominantly about food, it’s not. More than anything, it’s about people. I care deeply about people and have cultivated a really strong community of friends and colleagues over the past decade that I can welcome you into. I need you to help get my day-to-day stuff done, and if you’re smart and resourceful, you can pick up a lot of other info, connections, and skills along the way.

Though I’ve had mentees, helpers and employees in the past, this is the first time I’ll have ever had a personal intern dedicated to working with me on all of my various endeavors, so we’re gonna figure things out together as we go along. I promise I’ll never make you do any crappy task I wouldn’t do myself, and the boring to fun task ratio will always be 1 to 1. Sound good?

In my dream universe, you:

  • are extremely detail-oriented
  • have a great sense of humor and have an extraordinary ability to roll with the punches
  • are really organized 
  • are proficient with Microsoft Excel and Word (Photoshop and In Design a plus) 
  • are well versed with social media including Facebook, Twitter 
  • know your way around a digital camera and are able to take lovely photos 
  • have very good writing abilities 
  • approach exciting/cool tasks and boring/gross tasks (like washing dishes in the bathtub, a sad reality here in my world) with equal enthusiasm because you understand that you can’t really have one without the other 
  • have a strong interest in gastronomy from an ecological, agricultural and cultural perspective 

Regular Responsibilities include but are not limited to:

  • Checking and responding to e-mail and other professional correspondence 
  • Assisting with scheduling 
  • Filing 
  • Assisting with special events 
  • Assisting with social media, including upkeep of Facebook pages, twitter stream, and blog 
  • Documenting events and projects with lovely photos 
  • If you’re interested and so inclined, helping to redesign the handbooks I write for Home Ec classes so they don’t look like a 5th grader designed them 
  • Documenting and testing recipes 

About Samin Nosrat (back to third person):

Samin's life has been molded by skillful teachers, beginning with her mother, grandmothers and aunts who made a home for her in the Persian kitchen.

Her love of the written word was fostered at UC Berkeley, where Stephen Booth offered steadfast mentorship. Subsequent study with Michael Pollan made Samin appreciate the craft of writing from a journalistic perspective. A natural storyteller, she draws her inspiration from culture, tradition, and history, and seeks in her writing to connect these influences to issues of community and sustainability.

Creating community around food is at the heart of all of Samin's varied endeavors, from Pop-Up General Store to Tartine Afterhours. She brings a sense of humor and joy with her into the kitchen, where she cooks simple, honest food rooted in tradition and seasonality. With her Home Ec series of hands-on cooking classes, Samin empowers her students in the kitchen, inspiring them to reconnect with our food, with those who grow it, and with those gathered around the table.

Over the past decade, her culinary philosophy has been shaped by the Chez Panisse family, especially Alice Waters, Christopher Lee, Cal Peternell and David Tanis. Tuscan butcher Dario Cecchini and farmer extraordinaire Bob Cannard have provided counterpoints on how tradition and nature intersect with the food we put on our tables.

Samin lives in Berkeley, CA.

To apply:

Start dates are flexible, but I'm hoping to get started with you sometime in September. To apply, please send a cover letter and résumé to ciao {at} saminnosrat {dot} com.

new website...



after a year of dreaming and hard work, i am brimming with pride as i unveil saminnosrat.com.  please let me know me what you think!

it may look simple, but let me tell you, simple is really hard to pull off!

this could not have been possible without the help of the following amazing people:
tracy lenihan--graphic designer, dream shepherd, and general wonderful person
aya brackett--photographer extraordinaire
charlie hallowell--for letting us take over his house for the shoot
erin fogg--programming
ulan mcknight--hosting
dana velden--for lending me that dreamy typewriter (if you ever want something out of me, i'd pretty much do anything for a classic olivetti valentine that types in cursive)
nancy roberts--for her help on the day of the shoot

a new kind of practice

picking mulberries

i've been writing.  a little bit, each day.

it's an attempt to get through the seemingly never-ending cycle of angst in which i find myself each time i begin a new story, application, or essay.

maybe practice will get me through it.

maybe, with practice, i'll be able to work through the crippling fear i have that i'll never be able to capture the tiny bits of beauty that make me love this life, the bits for which i live, and which i want to share with all of you.

a couple of weeks ago, i found myself at sunny slope orchard with two other writers, both more experienced than me.  we were on a rescue mission, picking up apricots that had to be picked in a rush in order to save them from water damage from an unexpectedly late rainfall.

so we drove up there, with a plan to make jam over the weekend.  i'd just been to sunny slope a few days earlier, and having experienced the magic of that place, did my best to prepare my friends without spoiling the surprises that i knew waited in store for them.  you see, bill spurlock is a magician, a mechanic, and an all-around genius.  and fern, well, she's made of gold.

our morning was filled with ripe royal blenheim apricots, plucked from the branches of hundred-year old trees and eaten straight away; perfect plum popsicles in a treehouse built of dreams; tastes of fruit gently dried by sunlight; and a host of ingenious contraptions constructed to make farm life just a tiny bit easier and a dose more entertaining.

we left in a daze, with a car full of apricots and a sugar-high to remember.

a few minutes into the drive home, i started to lament that one could never capture such beauty, such magic, in mere words.  no story i could ever write would ever do that place justice.  it simply could never be done.

the most experienced writer among us looked at me as if i were nuts.  he said, "of course it could be done, as long as you concede that you'll never be able to adequately describe the taste of the apricots.  but the experience was certainly rich enough to craft a compelling portrait of a farmer and his fruit."

i didn't say it, but thought, "whatever.  maybe you could do it, but not me.  it's just not possible."

later, when i recounted the story to another friend, he pointed out how crazy i sounded.  he said, "if after eating a delicious pesto that you'd made i said, 'i could never do this, never in a million years make a pesto as good as this,' you'd look at me and say, 'of course you can,' and then walk me through the steps.  you might tell me about the history of pesto, describing the different ways it's made on the various hillside towns in liguria.  you'd tell me which farmer to seek out to get just the right variety of piccolo fino basil, and how many months the parmesan and pecorino you'd used had been aged.  and of course you'd tell me where the olive oil had come from, and why that delicate gold-label oil is so crucial for a lovely pesto.  then you'd show me just how to prepare it, step-by-step, and tell me to go home and practice until i got it right myself."

i started to see that with writing, it's no different. you just break it down into manageable chunks and then you practice.  you write, and you write, and you write some more, until you get there.  it might take a really long time, but you'll never know unless you start practicing.

so now, as painful as it might be, i'm committed to doing that hard work.  practice.  i get it.

wish me luck.

Tartine Afterhours: July 26th & 27th

One of the great luxuries of Tartine Afterhours for me, as a cook, is the opportunity to cook the foods I love to eat most, and to feed people in the way that I want to be fed, which is to say abundantly, without pretense, family-style and with much love.  

Because of the way that most restaurant kitchens are organized, serving family-style dishes just isn't very realistic, which is a great shame if you ask me.  So I take excessive joy in being able to cook and serve the kinds of things that we restaurant cooks consider special-occasion dishes, things like paella, for instance.

And so, on the occasion that two of my dearest friends (and most badass cooks I know) will be joining me for the dinners this month, a grand paella is on order for dinner.  I hope you can come, and that it's as special for you as it is for me!




the details

who: the fab folks at tartine and me
what: a three-course family-style Catalonian summer feast
where: tartine bakery (600 guerrero st.  sf, ca)
when: tuesday, july 26th & wednesday, july 27th at 8pm
why: to highlight the joy of good food and good company
to reserve: this dinner has sold out.  please join the mailing list by entering your name in the box on the sidebar to receive notice of our next dinner and enter the lottery.

how much: $45 plus wine and gratuity (cash only, please!)

i always do this thing where...

via ordinary courage


i come up with these insanely ambitious, over-complicated ideas and then psych myself out about them to the point where i don't even start working on anything and end up with a big fat nothing after days, weeks, or months of thought.

for example, i can't tell you how many blog posts i have finished, sitting right there in draft status.

(about a bajillion)

over the past year or so, i've been cooking up ideas about what my first book should and shouldn't look like.  it shouldn't be a cookbook because i don't want to be pigeon-holed as a cookbook writer.  it should be beautiful, inspirational, groundbreaking and just plain brilliant.  it shouldn't do anything less than completely encapsulate every iota of my being and entire belief system.  it should make me a bazillion dollars.

you get the point.

and you'll probably guess where i'm going with this--i've psyched myself out so much about this theoretical book that i haven't allowed myself to even start working on it.

pretty ridiculous.  yep.

so when i came up with a most excellent book idea last year, the first thing i did was to dismiss it because it didn't fit any of my criteria.  even though i can imagine this book being a total hit, i didn't allow myself to consider working on it because it didn't seem ambitious or difficult enough.

um, crazy much?

it took my off-handedly mentioning the idea to a seasoned book publishing professional and seeing her extreme reaction (wherein she essentially called me a total idiot for not getting on this train faster) to see that this actually is a good fantastic idea, one that makes total sense for me to start with, and in the words of one of my mentors, a sort of synecdoche of my larger body of work (real world sage that he is, he also warned me that no book is easy to write, no book is a sure-fire bet, and all books are intensely painful to work on).

ever since then, i haven't been able to stop thinking about it.  more than that, i've even started writing.  all it took was shattering the crazy framework of expectation i'd imposed on myself to see that sometimes the path of least resistance really is the way to go.

Benefit for Conductive Learning: Eat, Drink and Be Merry


even though i haven't spent more than half an hour of my life with this little girl, she means a lot to me.  her name is archer, and she is the sweet daughter of liz and chad from tartine.

over the past year, liz and chad have shown me immeasurable generosity, allowing a near stranger to come into their bakery and take the place over for the tartine afterhours dinners i'm so pleased to cook each month.  they've doled out advice and money, bought us glasses and heath platters for us to serve with, and made special breads, desserts, and cocktails to make each dinner better than the last.  they've made a home for me in the fantastic bakery that they've spent over twenty years working toward and running, and for that i am greatly indebted to them.

being pretty lovable and loving, they've also become my friends.

and so, it's with that undercurrent of love and gratitude that i wanted to mention the fundraiser that they are hosting on monday night at bar tartine.  you see, besides running an insanely popular bakery and restaurant, with another bakery on the way, they've decided to open a special school, called a conductive learning center, in san francisco.  conductive learning is a type of physical education for people, mostly children, with motor disorders such as cerebral palsy, which archer suffers from.  though conductive learning has proven to be effective, the approach was developed in eastern europe and isn't widely recognized in the us as a preferable method of treatment yet.  there's just one other conductive learning center in the states, in michigan.

over the past couple of years, liz and archer have spent more time on the road at trainings and far-flung conductive learning centers than at home.  having seen the positive effects on archer, liz and chad decided to start a school here.  it's a huge undertaking, and they'll need a lot of help to make it happen.  so the first fundraiser is a special hungarian-style feast at bar tartine, cooked by chef nick balla.

if you're not busy and have a little dough to spare, please come.  it'll be fantastic!

there's also an online auction with all sorts of incredible food experiences and other great items to bid on.

if this is strictly out of your budget, then stay tuned--there will be more (and more affordable) ways to support the school in the coming weeks.

at the very least, please spread the word!

links:

Couple little things


Okay, so now that the cat is officially out of the bag on the Chez Panisse 40th anniversary projects, I can talk about them here!

A Backyard Pig Roast on Saturday, August 27th: I am super, super stoked to be cooking with my friends Michael Pollan and Jack Hitt at Michael's and his wife Judith's house in North Berkeley.  We threw a similar party last year and it was, well, pretty much the best party I've ever been to.  This one will be even more awesome, with special breads from Chad Robertson and Liz Prueitt of Tartine Bakery, a performance of some sort by Jack (who is the most skillful storyteller I've ever met), some fiddle-playing prodigies, and textiles designed by quilting impresario Laverne Brackens and Christina Kim, and about fifty million kinds of pie and hand-cranked vanilla ice cream.  I may or may not brew up a batch of sarsparilla for the soiree, too!  If you've got an extra G burning a hole in your pocket, call Krissa at 510-843-3811 to get yourself a ticket!

For those of you without all of that extra cash weighing you down, I'm also spearheading Eating for Education, a two-pronged campaign to spread awareness about Edible Education and school gardens nationally.  We're rallying up farm-to-table restaurants across the country to partner up with school gardens and youth garden projects in their communities.  Participating restaurants will spread the word about their local gardens and commit to contributing a percentage of proceeds on Saturday, August 27th to help support the programs.  If you are involved with either a restaurant or a school garden and would like to participate, please email me at samin (at) eatingforeducation (dot) org.

Finally, if you're just not interested in eating out at all, then host a dinner of your own!  What I'm really hoping for is to get families in the kitchen with their kids, so we'll be offering all sorts of resources, recipes and tips over on the website all summer long to get kids in the kitchen to help make dinner on August 27th.

Ten years ago, the thirtieth anniversary of the restaurant blew my mind.  It was the best day of my life and made me feel like part of something really extraordinary--never in my wildest dreams could I have conjured up such a beautiful celebration involving so many special people-- from Edna Lewis to Dario Cecchini to every CP alumnus and alumna from across the globe.  I can only hope that with Eating for Education, I can help bring as many people as possible into the realm of this fantastic restaurant that has stood for so much over the past forty years.  I always say that the direction of my life changed in ways I could have never anticipated, hoped for, or even imagined when I first walked through those creaky wooden doors twelve years ago, and I know I'm far from the only person to have been changed by Lady A and her work.

All of the money raised over the course of these events will benefit the Edible Schoolyard, which over the course of the next several months will transition from just one school garden program in Berkeley to the hub of a national network of school gardens and youth garden projects, with free resources, training, and educational tools for anyone and everyone in the country working to make Edible Education a reality for every schoolchild.  Pretty great, if you ask me.

For a complete listing of 40th anniversary events, including all of the other celebratory dinners, look here.


Tartine Afterhours: Tuesday, June 28th


I'm so excited to welcome Daniel Klein of The Perennial Plate into the kitchen with me for Tartine Afterhours this month.  If you aren't familiar with him, watch a few of his videos and get to know him--he's the real deal.  We'll trek out to some local urban and rural farms on the day before the dinner to harvest produce, and I'll see if I can talk Chad into baking some special loaves for us.  I think it's safe to say it'll be pretty awesome.







the details
who: the fab folks at tartine, daniel klein, and me 
what: a three-course family-style fixed menu celebrating daniel's arrival in the bay area
where: tartine bakery (600 guerrero st. sf, ca) 
when: tuesday, june 28th at 8pm 
why: to highlight the joy of good food and good company 
how much: $45 plus wine and gratuity (cash only, please!) 

to reserve: this dinner has sold out.  please join the mailing list by entering your name in the box on the sidebar to receive notice of our next dinner and enter the lottery.

i should definitely be asleep right now...

handmade oaxacan papel picado at dosa




what good is it to be a 'yogi' if you're a jerk to the people who serve you in restaurants?  

what if i aspired to have my yoga practice look less like this:
(not like it looks anything remotely like that right now, or ever has)

 and more like this?  

what if i didn't take everything so seriously?

a couple of weeks ago a well-meaning friend gave me some unsolicited advice, telling me that my real problem was that i don't have any goals.  um, i thought, have you ever met me?  

it was so far off the mark, it was sort of hilarious.  
but for some reason, it really bugged me.  

like to the point i couldn't sleep that night.

i was still angry the next day, too.

the day after that, i was able to let it go.  but only after completely dissecting things and realizing exactly why it bugged me so much.  the funny thing was, everyone i told the story to had the same incredulous reaction; here i am doing everything i can to keep my life from spinning totally out of control by reigning in my achievement-oriented tendencies, and my dear, sweet friend who just wanted to help (i think) is totally missing that, seeing only that i've slowed down and not noticing why. 

huh?

if she had been actively trying to hit the bullseye of sensitivity in my heart, she couldn't have done a better job; i'm going to great pains to relax and she's calling me a slacker?  

yowch!

i had to let it go.  and i did.  no, really.  i did.  

ok, now i'm going to bed, because tomorrow i get to teach about FAT!  woot!

Tartine Afterhours: Tuesday, May 31st


IMG_1546

the details

who: the fab folks at tartine (and me) 
what: a three-course family-style fixed menu celebrating the late spring bounty
where: tartine bakery (600 guerrero st. sf, ca) 
when: tuesday, may 31st at 8pm 
why: to highlight the joy of good food and good company 
how much: $45 plus wine and gratuity (cash only, please!) 

to reserve: this dinner has sold out.  please join the mailing list by entering your name in the box on the sidebar to receive notice of our next dinner and enter the lottery.

a few links to help you pass the time



edible selby--don't you all just want to go to hartwood right now?

seth godin--jill shared his book linchpin with me last week, and i'm hooked on his brand of wisdom

penguin great food series--after aaron showed me these last month, i begged the universe to send me a set...and a complete (uk!) one arrived the other day.  i might be the only mortal in the states with an entire set...thank you, guardian angel!

why being a 'foodie' is not elitist--oh, eric schlosser.  swoon.

bon iver, bon iver--another swoon.

tamar's great author photo

beyonce's making me cry

canal house has a blog (actually, two!)

i'm cooking something up with daniel, so get to know his wonderful work.  i love video number three myself.

not a link, but the final(ish) tally for the bakesale for japan is $141,000

Home Ec: How to Pull Fresh Mozzarella



Have you been wondering what that hand-pulled mozzarella on every restaurant menu is all about? Have you noticed that it's impossibly tender, better than even the most expensive imported Italian mozzarella?

Come spend an afternoon with chef Samin Nosrat for a delicious and demystifying hands-on cheese-pulling class. Put your mozzarella-making skills to the test!

Samin will talk and walk you through the intricacies of pulling the perfect ball of fresh mozzarella, and then it'll be your turn! Everyone will then get to pull several balls of mozzarella (it takes a while to get a hang of it!) under her guidance. You'll even get to try your hand at making a creamy burrata mozzarella!

After we gather around the table to enjoy some of the mozzarella we pull together, each student will take home his/her mozzarella, as well as a recipe book with ideas for cooking with your fresh mozzarella, step-by-step instructions for pulling mozzarella, and a list of trusted cheese purveyors and resources.

You'll leave empowered and informed, knowing how to make delicate, tender fresh mozzarella for the perfect salad, pizza or antipasto plate.

WHAT
How to Pull Mozzarella with Samin Nosrat

WHEN
Saturday, June 11th
5pm-7.30pm

WHERE
4629 Martin Luther King Junior Way
(At the corner of 47th and MLK)
Oakland, CA 94609

TICKETS
$85
To enroll visit the appropriate event page at Brown Paper Tickets: May 28th or June 11th

There are a limited number of scholarship spots available to students willing to commit to set up and clean up.  Please email Samin directly at saminnosrat@yahoo.com for more information.

CLASS SIZE
20 students max.
Each student will pull and take home several balls of his/her own fresh mozzarella and a recipe guide.

ABOUT SAMIN NOSRAT
A professional cook and freelance writer, Samin Nosrat looks to tradition, culture and history for inspiration. Trained in the Chez Panisse kitchen, she cooked there for several years before moving to Italy, where she worked closely with the Tuscan butcher Dario Cecchini and chef Benedetta Vitali for nearly two years. She spent five years as the sous chef and "farmwife" at Eccolo restaurant, butchering, brining, and preserving nearly everything in an effort to make the restaurant as self-sustaining as possible. Featured in the New York Times Moment blog as a mozzarella expert, her own writing has appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle, Meatpaper, and Edible San Francisco, as well as on her blog, Ciao Samin. 

Kitchen Table Talks: Tuesday, May 3





i'm honored to be the oldest (i assume) of the young activists on the panel at the next kitchen table talk, hosted by civil eats, at the j-school on may 3:


Food is the pulse of the millennial generation as thousands of young people are propelling the new good food movement forward by planting the seeds of a more just and sustainable food system. Across the country, students are activating for social change on campuses, while hundreds of new farmers and gardeners are digging into neighborhoods, and innovative food ventures are sprouting up. Come meet some of the best and brightest of these young food activists on Tuesday, May 3, as Kitchen Table Talks, in conjunction with UC Berkeley’s School of Journalism, hosts a lively discussion with some of the leading youth voices whose mandate is food.


When: Tuesday, May 3 from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m.

Where: UC Berkeley School of Journalism Library, Northgate Hall, Berkeley, CA


This event is free and open to public. Space is limited, so please RSVP with consideration.


to be honest, i'm not sure where to begin.

nowhere seems appropriate, really, so i guess i'll just start here and work backward/forward.

i'm still recovering from the bakesale; i haven't had much downtime since the event, and i definitely haven't had a chance to process my feelings about it (or respond to all of the emails that continue to pour in).  for now, please let a humongous THANK YOU suffice.  one day, perhaps soon, i'll be able to organize my thoughts and tell the story around this incredible outpouring of love that deserves to be told.

one thing that's happened as a result of the bakesale is this: i've officially reached the end of my rope.  no longer can i juggle everything by myself, be a bottomless pit of YES, and do work without being paid (or paid enough).  what i need is an assistant, but since i can't afford that right now, i'm changing gears:

  • i'm on the six month plan.  in six months, i will regularly be taking one full day off a week.
  • i'm imposing a moratorium on pro-bono gigs.  or, shall i say, don't come to me; let me come to you.  please don't ask me to organize/donate to/work at/promote your fundraiser or event for free; the answer is no.  if you'd like to pay me to consult, however, i am open to discussion.
  • we're taking pop-up general store from a monthly project to a quarterly one.  this will allow me to make room in my life for the work that sustains me financially and intellectually.  i love the pop-up, but i am constantly consumed by preparing for, recovering from, working at, or just being anxious about it.  i don't want to totally let it go, but i can't continue to let it dictate my schedule.  my other hope with this is: with more time between each pop-up, we can get photos of the items up on the website, expand our offerings, and just raise the quality of the whole thing in general.  this is a change i'm excited about for many reasons.
  • i'm realizing: i'm just one person.  i can't do everything.  i've become the tasmanian devil.  i've created a vicious cycle where every time i perform better and produce more.  though i wear myself out, i'm controlled by some irrational fear about the expectations i've created around what i do so i feel like i have to set the standard even higher the next time and achieve even more.  why?  i don't know.  it's ridiculous, and i can't function like that anymore.  i saw how ridiculous it all is when, after the bakesale i realized that typically projects of this scope are organized by entire committees of people, not just insane control-freaks like me.  i did have a bit of help from elisa and alice with some emails and spreadsheets, but other than that i did the entire thing myself.  and the thing is, i'm not proud of that.  this isn't bravado speaking.  it's more like, "WTF?!"
  • it might be arbitrary, but my goal is to say NO five times a week.  i was particularly pleased with myself when i said no last week to one of my favorite authors of all time: she asked me for an estimate for my work, and even though i HATE giving estimates more than anything i came up with one that seemed totally fair, and when she said she couldn't afford it i didn't bristle, or buckle, or even feel bad.  i just let it go.  a month ago i would have told her i'd do it for free just because of who she is.  now, i'm up against a wall and i can't afford to do that, and so somehow, the whole exchange was much less emotional and stressful that it might have been.  

j's still life at stinson beach; april 2011
after the bakesale, i spent a couple of days out at stinson beach hiding out from the world with some friends.  we walked along the beach to get coffee in the mornings, collecting rocks and shells that the artist among organized into an incredible still life on a rotting wooden door by the house.  one day, we hiked for hours, never crossing paths with another human, walking so far out along the point that i wondered if anyone had ever been there before.  we ate simple, delicious food and took naps in the sun.  my phone barely worked out there.

at one point, i started to fret--how could it be that out there i was so calm, so present, so receptive to the beauty of the mundane and yet the moment i returned to this life i'd get swept up into the whirlpool of unanswered email and phone calls, growing to-do lists, and every other way i constantly feel like i am letting everyone down?  how could i hold on to that peace?  was there a way?

even then, i knew the answer: it isn't so much about holding onto that peace as it is about being able to summon it at will.  even i, in my most dervish-like moments, hold somewhere within me a spot so serene i could, and did, confuse it with that picturesque landscape out on the coast.  for what i was feeling out on the beach wasn't so much awe at what i am apart from as awe of what i am a part of, of what is a part of me.  this is the single most valuable thing i have learned in three years of practicing yoga, mindfulness, and meditation.  i just tend to forget it much of the time.

being at the beach helped me remember.  so i'm going to go to the beach more often.  it's as simple as that.

tartine afterhours: tuesday, april 26th


Man selling spices at Mysore market - India, originally uploaded by Eric Lafforgue

the details

who: the fab folks at tartine (and me) 
what: a grand moroccan three-course family-style fixed menu 
where: tartine bakery (600 guerrero st. sf, ca) 
when: tuesday, april 26th at 8pm 
why: to highlight the joy of good food and good company 
how much: $45 plus wine and gratuity (cash only, please!) 

to reserve: this dinner has sold out.  please join the mailing list by entering your name in the box on the sidebar to receive notice of our next dinner and enter the lottery.


wow.

photo courtesy of kacie wise


wow. wow. wow.

i am overwhelmed by what we have been able to accomplish by coming together.

thank you, everyone, for all of your hard work--because of you, our current fundraising total is

$124,000 and counting!

i went to stinson beach and hid out for a couple of days, and am now doing my best to return to my regular, busy life and keep up with all of your emails.

i'll update with more details, photos, and a heartfelt message of what this has all meant to me in the coming days when i recover a bit more from this whole thing.

in the meantime, from the bottom of my heart: thank you!