texture5, originally uploaded by devinemom.

i'm trying to take advantage of this time to change a lot of things about my life.

i want to be healthier. i want to stop eating out at sketchy ethnic food places (until now, my only exception to knowing where everything i eat comes from), and spend less time on the internet. i want to go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier and go for a walk every morning before work.

i want to cut most of the white stuff out of my diet and replace it with brown stuff. i want to replace household chemically stuff with natural stuff, and body chemically stuff with natural stuff. and i want to start drinking a lot more water.

i want to read more, listen to more music, and write on a daily basis. i'm not sure, but i might also want to do the artist's way, or at least morning pages. and i want to be nicer to people (especially at work). i sort of want to force myself to be less snooty, but will i be myself anymore if i'm not a snob about most things?

a huge part of my motivation is all of the cancer in my family (and beyond). i'm surrounded by it, and i don't want cancer to be a forgone conclusion for me.

but i also just realize that i can't let tough stuff leave me without any motivation and force me to float through life as if i have no choice. i need to actively pursue becoming the person i want to be.