maybe next time it'll be the plane ponderings, but today i was thinking about thomas lux.

i can't remember what led me to think about him, but in a way, it's because of him that i am here. i think that my decision to come to italy that first time would have been much more difficult had he been staying at sarah lawrence. i might be working on my master's thesis right now (or procrastinating on that project instead of my current one) if he hadn't moved to georgia.

but instead, i found myself of the bus, in florence, on my way to a little restaurant on the hill, thinking about how i am going to manage to carry all of the stuff i have to carry to the train station tomorrow.

i think that the three biggest decisions that have brought me to this point are: going to berkeley (oh, what an awful thing the process of coming to that conclusion was!), becoming a busser at cp, and coming to italy instead of going to graduate school. the funny thing is, i can't say that when i made those choices, i could tell that something major was happening. the story-loving, idealistic part of me thinks that the single-biggest factor that has brought me here was getting that bussing job. there was no way in a bajillion years that i could have imagined that i would be doing what i am doing when i started working there. i remember coming home, sore from picking up plates and sending the dumbwaiter up and down (oh, short-shifting, the most unglorious job in the world). and now, not even 4 years later, i am type-type-typing this entry in italy, a place i consider my home, where i speak the language, and have friends, and am living a somewhat productive life. i am also staring at my backpack, wondering how i am going to pick it up tomorrow morning. i never thought i'd say this, but there might just be such a thing as too much nutella (especially if you have to carry it on your back).

i packed my bag, so happy that everything fit, and then i remembered the kilo of parmesan in my fridge. ACK!