i think i am done making all of my presents. i just have a little bit more wrapping to do, and then i plan to play santa on weds or thurs night, dropping everything off. everything kind of got bumped up because i am going to san diego to be with my family--it's a really tough time right now, and i never get three days off in a row, so this seemed like a good chance.

i stopped by june taylor's still room today. everyone should go--it'd be a great place to pick up some lovely presents, and she is just such a nice person. the space is incredible--so beautiful and airy, and well lit. and she has all sorts of special candied treats, an incredible fruitcake, and of course her jams and marmalades.

i also made it to vik's, where everything was especially spicy today. i barely made it out of there alive!
a person who tries to be good at many things probably won't be good enough at any one thing to ever be recognized for it.

all i can do is compare myself--to my friend from high school who is now a tenure track professor at columbia, to all of my law school friends well on their ways to six-figure incomes, to people who have direction in life, who love their jobs or spouses or both. and it sucks. comparisons are odious.

blech.

what the eff am i going to do with myself?
ahem.

so i had this fabulous day on sunday, when i went to candystore, doe, giant robot, and ichiban kan, in search of crafts and art by local artists. the entire day, i was moaning and groaning about how the bay area has no good local craft fairs or anything.

then, today, i saw the list on sfist, and of course the first one listed is so very literally down the street from my house. big game, shmig game. i'll be at mavenfair this weekend. (and the alameda flea market).

in case you are wondering, right now i am obsessed with:
lisa congdon
diana fayt
jill bliss
susie gharamani
and little birds.

i even got a sewing machine. don't even ask about how long it took me to thread it. yikes. tomorrow, maybe i'll actually stitch something. maybe.
i am really intrigued by the article on spending habits that krikri linked to--mostly because i am nosy. but seriously, is that how real people live? even the two lowest paid people live much more luxurious lives than i do. and i have to say, there is a lot of starbucks going on in all of those tallies. i think i need to do a spending diary, too. mine would be pretty boring, though--groceries, a bart ticket here or there, maybe an ice cream. blah, so boring.

i recently started using a credit card--before that it was always debit, but someone i trust told me that our bank's rewards-points-system thing is pretty good, so i figured, "why not?" and signed up. i get four times as many points for using a credit card instead of a debit card, and i figure it will build good credit. plus, i just set it up so that my balance is paid in full each month automatically from my checking account. now, i pretty much pay for everything with the card. it's out of control. but, at the rate i'm moving, i'll probably get several hundred dollars in rewards a year, especially since i pay for a lot of work stuff with the card, and then get reimbursed. i love free stuff!

one purchase i am definitely going to make in the next week is a terrapass. i've been thinking about this for a while now, and i just watched an inconvenient truth, and am now really motivated to do it. i think everyone should do this--it's so easy, mostly affordable, and absolutely necessary.
well, today was mildly strange for many reasons. first, the faucet in our kitchen sink stopped working, and we now have to wash everything with the sprayer nozzle, which leads to many funny situations as you might imagine. i've been trying to track down my friendly landlord to let him know about the problem, but he moved and got a new phone number, and also apparently has switched jobs and has a new email address. his dad, who lives downstairs, is somewhat senile, and can't find his son't phone number. so i guess we're gonna have to work with the sprayer for a bit.

i went to the gym, and had to exercise next to a very stinky lady. then, on the way home, i walked through the farmer's market since i'd promised annabelle i'd come see her and pick out some stuff for the restaurant. when i got to her stall, it was aflutter with practically everyone who has ever worked at c.p. i saw a former chef and his girlfriend, a current chef, a current cook, a former server, kermit lynch and gail skoff, sandro, and charlie in a matter of seconds. i was pretty much panissed out in a matter of seconds. i guess it's pretty obvious who's the c.p. darling of the saturday market (and deservedly so, i say--those pumpkins alone are enough to set her apart).

i've been working on everything for the party tomorrow. there's the pinata filled with communist goods, mao zeduck. and the fabulous game "pin the birthmark on gorby's head." there are going to be cuban sandwiches, so i slow-roasted some pork shoulder for that. i have some really awesome skewers, so i think i am going to have cucumber and jicama with chili and lime, as well as a really excellent dip i concocted a few weeks ago with sour cream, cilantro, scallions, jalapeno and lime. i made a birthday cake for me and nick in case no one else comes through--the old midnight cake with some ancho chili, cinnamon, and clove. and i made two cans of dulce de leche, about a hundred chocolate wafers, and a bazillion meringues for party favors (those red envelopes that people give each other for chinese new year). i also suffered a meringue breakage--i was trying to make coconut meringues, but i added the coconut too soon and the meringue broke. there was nothing i could do to save it.

i have to go to sleep, but i am waiting for the last of the meringues to come out of the oven. so, let's forge on with meaningless drivel. i had dinner at delfina for the first time this week. it was pretty great. the puntarella was wonderful, as was the grilled rabbit, and the pork mostarda. yum! i totally understand why it's such a popular restaurant--there is something just right about their formula.

also, i heart pandora.

lately

lately, besides the prospects of a new camera, and the music i just got, i have been obsessed with:

dreams of pomegranates and persimmons
decaffinated green tea with cardamom
total whole milk yogurt with honey
the idea of maybe taking a class with michael pollan (he wrote me back and we'll meet when he gets back from terra madre. i told him to go to my favorite coffee shop in the universe, al bicerin)
the picasso story
old episodes of project runway on netflix (what happened to andrae?)
two eight-minute eggs for breakfast with orange juice
the communist party!

my new favorite songs

i finally used the itunes gift certificate i got from blingo. here's what i got, and why i can't stop listening to my ipod (especially at work in the afternoon, when i am rolling pasta or typing the menus):

new shoes:::paolo nutini (actually free from itunes last week)
today has been okay:::emiliana torrini
not going anywhere:::keren ann
colors:::amos lee
naked as we came:::iron & wine
beautiful world:::colin hay
chicago:::sufjan stevens
fidelity:::regina spektor
trouble:::ray lamontagne

it might not be new to you, but it's new to me, and it makes me really happy.
i've bought a great photo book, understanding exposure and only after i read and absorb it will i buy a(nother) camera (i already have six other cameras, each of which has its purpose. there is pretty much one with me at all times). the good news is that i've managed to save enough money to get whichever camera i decide on (it's between the rebel xti and the nikon d80) from all of the extra work i've been doing, so the hard part is taken care of. i can't wait to start taking lovely digiphotos. i just don't want to make any hasty purchases. besides, i doubt the d80 will become readily available much before christmastime at this rate.


i'm also newly obsessed with hdr. i have photoshop now, and i'd love to learn to use it. i am fascinated with loretta lux, and this girl nina (aka andaria on flickr). oh, i have so much to learn.

komrades:

after much deliberation, the birthday theme has been settled. actually, it was really easy--once i started on the cuban idea, i knew that was what i really wanted to do, but my apartment is just so small, and there is never anywhere to sit, so i started thinking where else i could have the party.

then i realized that my friend nick's birthday is just two days apart from mine, and he lives in a great victorian with a huge backyard. so i called him up to see if he wanted to have a joint birthday party, and i told him about the axis of evil theme, and the cuban theme. he said he'd just been thinking of a russian themed party (he did his semester abroad in russia), and i said, perfect! we'll have a communist party.

so it's set--sunday, november 12th is the communist party. dress up as a chiquita banana, fidel, gorbechev, or stalin. come eat blinis and caviar, cuban sandwiches, borscht and tres leches cake. nick is infusing vodka, and i will make mojitos and cafe con leche. it's gonna be great.

yum.
i love mushaboom, even though some of my cooler friends are over feist. i've listened to it a bazillion times tonight. thank you, phil.

i find myself dreaming of a nice digital slr again. i don't know if it's worth it for a hobby photographer like me to spend so much money on a camera, but this is the one my little heart hopes for these days.

and i am trying to think up fun themes for my birthday party this year. how about an axis of evil party with iranian, iraqi, and korean food? or maybe a scavenger hunt with teams, and everyone has to come back and make something for the party with what they've collected. maybe a cuban party with cuban sandwiches, mojitos, beans and rice, tres leches cake, and cafe con leche. everyone, think about it. get back to me.
michael pollan came to the restaurant tonight, which was pretty exciting news for me. for probably three years now, i've wanted to audit one of his seminars at the j-school, but have either been too busy or shy to ask. i knew i'd have to drop names and pull strings to get to do that, and though i don't have any problem doing either of those things, i don't particularly enjoy doing them. in fact, i find it sometimes more taxing, or emotionally expensive, if you will, to do those sorts of things. sometimes, it's just better to do it for yourself.

i could have waited around for him to come in, but then i would have felt awkward interrupting his dinner. so i just wrote him a note introducing myself (though i'd met him before at cp) and saying that i'd love to take one of his classes. we'll see if that works.

solociccia

dario has a restaurant! how exciting.

sometimes, the intensity with which i miss italy is surprising, even to me. in some ways, i felt at home there like i've never felt anywhere else. it's so amazing to find a place where you just fit in so perfectly.

last week, we were able to get two beautiful pork middle sections--the whole loins with the bellies still attached. clee and i butchered them and seasoned them with dario's profumo that he'd sent for us with a friend a couple of months ago, rosemary, sage, and garlic. we scored the skin and tied them up, and they looked just like dario's beautiful arista. we cooked the first ones yesterday, and they were exactly right. i could have closed my eyes and been at dario's house having dinner. today, i made an attempt to recreate his fabulous mostarda mediterranea--i was nervous, since he has such a precise recipe, and i have no clue what all of his percentages are. but somehow, the stars aligned for me, and after i cooked and pureed and strained it, and put some on the room temperature porchetta, you could have called me samin cecchini. i couldn't believe how good it all was. sometimes, i just can't believe how good our food is. plus, bob's shellbeans all'uccelletto basically tasted like florence in a pot. i just wanted to die of happiness.

later, when i went to the gym, i could smell the mostarda emanating from my skin. and all i could do was smile.